When back-to-school season meets a cancer diagnosis

When you’re facing a breast cancer diagnosis as a parent, your first concern is often your children’s well-being—especially how they’ll cope emotionally with the changes to come.

Our partners at Living Beyond Breast Cancer (LBBC) recently shared tips that will help you create a school plan that makes your child feel seen, supported, and empowered. From what to share about your diagnosis to teaming up with teachers, LBBC offers six helpful ways to partner with your child’s school during your breast cancer treatment journey.

School is where kids spend a significant amount of their time. Partnering with your child’s school team can provide structure, support, and a sense of safety during a challenging time. Also, it allows staff to offer compassion and understanding, as well as reasonable accommodations (e.g., extra time on assignments, adjusted homework load), to help your child stay on track during the school year.

You may feel vulnerable when talking to your child’s school, particularly if you are a more private person. You don’t have to do it alone. You also don’t have to share every detail about your diagnosis and treatment plan. Even a simple conversation can make a difference.

Here are some tips to help guide your conversation and planning:

1. Decide how much you want to share

You can choose what information you feel comfortable sharing with your child’s school. Some families share only that a health issue is present. Others provide more detailed information. You can decide which language you prefer to use (for example, “illness” vs. “cancer”), especially if your child is still processing the news.

Let the school know if your treatment might mean hospital stays, or if there will be changes to transportation, caregiving, or schedule routines on treatment days. Teachers can help with transitions and keep routines as consistent as possible.

2. Identify who should be involved

Consider looping in:

• Your child’s teacher(s)

• The school counselor or psychologist

• A trusted administrator or nurse

Having a small, informed team can help ensure steady support and communication. Trusted school staff can keep an eye on your child’s mood, behavior, and school workload.

Choose a primary point of contact in that group for your child to talk to, so your child won’t have to repeat information. That person can share information to the team as a whole.

3. Start the conversation

The “hardest” part comes after you decide what you want to share and with whom you will share it. Some people find that telling this news makes the situation feel more real and that it is a difficult step to take. It’s okay to keep it simple. You might say, “I’ve recently been diagnosed with breast cancer and wanted to loop you in so we can support my child together.” You can also be clear about who you are comfortable knowing this information.

Schools are used to supporting students through family health challenges. Some even have processes in place to help.

4. Create space for ongoing updates

Set a cadence for check-ins, especially if your treatment schedule or your child’s needs change. Let the school know how you prefer to be contacted and who else, such as a co-parent or caregiver, they can reach out to if needed. Create an emergency plan designating who your child can go home with in case you need unexpected, prolonged medical care. Keep that plan on file with the school team.

5. Plan for in-school support

Work with the school to monitor your child for signs of distress and offer your child tools to manage stress or big emotions. Some suggestions you can discuss with your child’s school team:

• A hall pass to visit a trusted adult when overwhelmed

• Scheduled check-ins with a counselor or support staff

• Access to calming items like a stress ball or sensory tool

• Access to art supplies for processing feelings

• A designated break space like the library or a quiet room

6. Encourage compassionate communication

Children often worry that they will be seen as different from others, especially during middle and high school years. A cancer diagnosis in the family can make a child stand out, so it is important that the school respect your child’s privacy by being discreet. A safe communication signal (e.g., a private hand gesture, placing a particular item out on their desk) can help your child let their teacher know they need help without calling attention to themselves.

You can also ask the school to be mindful of classroom conversations, especially around family, illness, or health. Simple reminders to teachers can go a long way in helping your child feel safe and included.

Partnering with your child’s school helps ensure they’re surrounded by care at home and in the classroom. You and the school can build a circle of support that strengthens your child’s ability to cope and thrive.

Visit LBBC’s caring for your children’s mental health page for more information to help your children cope. Get support from LBBC’s community resources.